what is love anyway?

image from pixabay

 

What’s love got to do with it? Tina Turner asks…

Good question. 

“I’m not a smart man but I know what love is.” says Forest Gump.

Well I don’t. 

What is love?  It has a different definition for each of us…if it exists at all.

I don’t know what love is.

BUT I know what it isn’t.

Love is not about power.

Love is not control.

Love is not abuse.

Belittling someone is not love.

Controlling someone is not love.

Beating someone is not love.

If my father loved me he wouldn’t have abused me- verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually.

If my brother, cousins, uncle loved me they wouldn’t have touched me in that way.

If my grandparents loved me they would have taken me out of the situation or done something to help.

If my mother loved me she wouldn’t have made me feel less than.  She wouldn’t have encouraged my brother’s abuses.  She wouldn’t have been jealous of my father’s attention.

I could go on and on there are many more examples…but let’s fast forward to adult relationships.

Just a couple examples:

 If “D” loved me he wouldn’t have chipped away at what little self-esteem I had. He wouldn’t have asked me why I deprived him from being with “hot” girls. He wouldn’t have literally spat in my face.

If “N” loved me he wouldn’t have told me how wonderful I was, how fun and creative and passionate I was but then break up with me cause it was time he settled down and he “didn’t want his kids to have a fat mom.”

You know what else love isn’t?

Love is not losing yourself in someone else.

It is not about sacrifice.  It is all well and good to do things for the ones you love AND you shouldn’t have to do so at the expense of yourself.

Love should not be based on fear.

Love should not hurt.

 

~Melanie Thomason

02/21/2020

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Filed under Random Brain Babble

Thank goodness they had gone.

 

 

Thank goodness they had gone.  She had never wanted them here in the first place.  She certainly didn’t invite them as she had never wanted to see them again for the rest of her life.  How had her parents even found her? She had left them behind years ago and thought she had left no trace for them to follow.

Gretchen picked up the tattered pieces of herself that their surprise visit had ripped from her with gnarled claws and gnashing teeth.  It had taken years to build herself up after an entire childhood of their abuses.  She thought she was past that part of her life and could no longer be hurt by them.  But it seems her self-esteem is still tenuous at best. She would heal, she promised herself, after all she had come so far and they didn’t own her anymore.

And, they were gone.  Gretchen heaved a sigh of relief and took a deep calming breath to center herself.  She could swear she could still smell them; that somehow evil had a stench and it had somehow lingered.  She might think about moving again later, but for now she set about cleaning…cleaning her apartment and herself to be rid of them again.  Gretchen turned the music up loud to drown out their voices in her head that she thought had been banished.  She cleaned and she sang and as the music filled her she started to feel better.

~Melanie Thomason

02/08/2020

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Filed under Stories

Annie Oakley (just so ya know)

 

Image found on Pixabay

So a friend asked me today, completely put of the blue, “How tall was Annie Oakley?”  Random question right but he totally thought i would know…I did not!  BUT that caused me to look her up.  So I thought I’d share a few tidbits… (links to original sources.)

Annie Oakley, original name Phoebe Ann Mosey, (born Aug. 13, 1860, Darke county, Ohio, U.S.—died Nov. 3, 1926, Greenville, Ohio), American markswoman who starred in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show, where she was often called “Little Sure Shot.”

Now this was what I found cool:

Throughout her career, it is believed that Oakley taught more than 15,000 women how to use a gun. Oakley believed strongly that it was crucial for women to learn how to use a gun, as not only a form of physical and mental exercise, but also to defend themselves.[8] She said:

“I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies.”

Anyway if you want to know more…look her up AND if you were wondering…she was 5 ft tall!!

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hide&seek

Image by cherry 叶 from Pixabay

 

this writing thing is not for the weak

because words like to play hide&seek

just count to ten and don’t dare peek

then find the words and let them speak

~Melanie Thomason

2/20/2020

 

 

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Filed under Poetry

first flower

the first brave flower

peeks its head out from the snow

promises of Spring

~Melanie Thomason

2/20/2020

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Filed under haiku, Poetry

Before her first kiss…

image from Pixabay

 

Before her first training bra

she wasn’t even beginning to need one…

Before her first period

she had only heard of Aunt Flo…

Before her first crush

she wasn’t even interested in boys…

Before her first boyfriend

Before her first kiss…

He shattered her childhood

and took away her innocence

Does that make her sullied?

Does that make her less?

Does that count as losing her virginity?

~Melanie Thomason

2/20/2020

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Filed under Poetry

Pink Lies (story/poems)

She was forged in this crucible of life

This crucible of grisly pink lies

Told not to question why

That men were right

And she would always be wrong

Taught to know she was less than

Simply because she was a she

She would never be an equal

Not even a reasonable facsimile

Of a man

You see it all goes back to

This origin story

Told by men

Of how woman was created

From man

For man

So therefore could never exist

Without man

And now girls are still taught this

That they need a man to complete them

That they should stand by their man

That they are property

That they should obey

And to be extra sweet

And dripping kindness

To be nurturing

And self-less

To be defined only for what they are

And what they do for others

Daughter

Wife

Mother

She rejected this claustrophobic version of a “life”

That was hammered into her

Since the first pink bonnet

Was placed on her head

 

Caroline

You say she is haggard

A hag, an old maid

Unwanted by man

And withering away

But you’re wrong

She didn’t find a man

Worthy of her

So she chose not to settle

Because she didn’t need a man

To complete her

And make no mistake

She is not alone

Or lonely

 

Melissa

You say she is easy

You say she is a slut

A whore

Because she enjoys the company of a man

Or men

Or women

Or anyone who isn’t you

Jealousy does not become you

and you are seeding a storm

That you may not see coming

Till hailstones rain upon you

Just like you spat your ugly words at her

 

Meghan

You say she is hard

You say she is a bitch

And you wonder what makes her

Gnash her teeth as she rejects

Your unwanted advances

You should be happy it isn’t your flesh

That she peels away as you flounder

And beg for mercy

 

~Melanie Thomason

2/20/2020

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Filed under Poetry, Stories

“Screw you, lover boy.”

Image by Walter Bichler from Pixabay

 

“Screw you, lover boy.”

I’ve said it in my head so many times

You break my heart each midnight

& come to mend it again each noon

I’m so sick of the same old song and dance

and you have been given chance after chance

but you refuse to learn a different tune

Now I’ve lost the will and the desire to fight

See, you’ve tied me up and hung yourself

with the very same length of rope

I’m finally standing up for myself

“Forgive you?” This time, it’s a nope!

“Screw you, lover boy.”

You’ve finally crossed my lines

~Melanie Thomason

2/15/2020

 

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Filed under Poetry