Whilst I am indeed euchred I felt that I owed it to you to pen this tale before I succumb to sleep’s waiting embrace. I couldn’t cheat you out of it after all this time.
As you know, gentle reader, I have searched far and wide for the specimen we refer to as a perfect man. A theory had begun to take shape that no such thing existed. Well, I have to report to you that just last week I found one that may prove to be perfect at long last. Granted, I only have a cluster of experiences to base this on, but he is looking promising.
Devoted reader, you must believe me when I say that he is intelligent and charming. He is funny, sexy and kind. I know, I know it sounds impossible but he is an animal lover and has told me great tales of his protection and support of women and children. In fact he doesn’t even consider us as a “weaker sex”, he views women as equal to men, NAY, superior to men!
I’m cognizant that it appears I’m being taken for a ride, so I shall keep my head on a swivel to ensure that I am not being snookered and in turn deceiving you dear reader.
Did I mention that at the lightest touch from him my senses runaway from me? My pulse quickens and my cheeks flush red as a ripe strawberry. My temperature rises when I feel his smoldering gaze upon me. He is every good part of every man rolled into one, he is sex personified….ahem, pardon me gentle reader, as I contain myself.
Anyway, as I was saying, it will (I assure you) be my pleasure to spend as much time as necessary with him to verify a valid conclusion. I’ll report back with my findings. Don’t be alarmed if it takes a while.
Euchred- utterly done in or at the end of one’s tether; exhausted.
Mythomane- a person with a strong or irresistible propensity for fantasizing, lying, or exaggerating.