Another murdered midnight
under a starless sky
The words between us hang heavy
like the weight of the secrets we keep
Love is a cruel deception
for creatures such as we,
living in perpetual drought
If I could only tell you the toll it takes
being one of your lost causes
I hate it, though neither of us is innocent
The truth echoes among us
When I close my eyes the red rope tightens
I think of all the things we do in the dark
the silence sings as the rain starts
She was dying so slowly from the poison that she never even felt ill. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that she had never felt well but she just didn’t have a point of reference.
If one is always in the darkness do they miss the light? Even if they’ve never experienced it?
Yes, yes they do. She had dreams and fantasies of course but never the energy to even attempt them. Her imagination was the only part of her that was truly alive and reading fueled her.
She at the moment was living a stationary life, too weak and limp to even get herself out of bed. But in her mind she was hiking up mountain trails, riding wild horses and visiting big cities with immense skyscrapers she only ever read about.
She heard the comings and goings in the rest of the house and wanted to know what was happening, maybe even be included for once and she tried to call out but found herself too hoarse to manage more than a whisper. A voice fades from lack of use.
She once again found comfort by carefully unfolding the tattered and yellowed piece of stationery that she always kept on her. Within its creases she spied the tiny pill, its presence reassuring. She still had some control and when she was ready she would go on her own terms.
gentle gloomy sky
a compassionate witness
to my fragile state of mind
Filed under haiku, Jisei, Poetry
She had long suspected that love wasn’t in the cards for her. She had even begun to accept her solitary lot in life. Now she had confirmation via a Tarot card reading by a trusted and respected friend.
“Well, this is just the icing on the cake.” she thought. It was just what she needed and she vowed to put thoughts of romantic love behind her and focus on other happinesses.
One could still have dreams.
One could still have passions.
“..and I still have love in my life, don’t I?” she softly asked the purring cat in her arms.
Are you awake??
Have anything to say?
Have anything worth sharing?
Have anything you hold near and/or dear to you?
Why are you
Living a generic life?
Marinating in mediocrity?
Determined to be distant?
Are you asleep??
Are you lost ?
Wake up before you float away into nothingness.
The ways of love are tricky to ascertain
and I’ve wasted too many years trying to wrap my head around things I can never understand.
I keep chasing happiness but find myself stumbling,
hanging over the edge, trying to cling to those fleeting moments that bubble up as laughter,
ascend and float away.
My new found hope melts as cotton candy on tongue
and once again death is so close I can feel it’s breath on the back of my neck.
Words have a way of burrowing under my skin and I descend again into despair
as I am reminded of all that I am not…
all that I should have been.
The pain is to just too real to pack away with past grievances.
Too real to disregard.
I’m a loser,
but not in the way that you think.
I’m a loser insomuch as I cannot win.
So today is the 12th day of NAPoWriMo 2020! I said i would write a poem each day for the moth of April….and I missed the last couple days. So I decided I could keep beating myself up and call myself a failure and just give it up OR I could play catch up…which is what I’m going to do! So here is my poem for day 10:
“I’m okay,” I say to you
as much as to myself
and neither of us believes it
as my voice is rough from tears
but “you’re alive and that’s a good thing” is your gentle reassurance
and that will have to do for now
things have been better
but boy have they been worse
things are different or is it me who is different?
either way we always get through it somehow
who was it that said, “the more things change the more they stay the same?”
casting her pride aside
she straddled his waist
plunging her blade into him
in one fluid motion
she quickly pryed his ribs apart
to expose his still beating heart
with her energy waning
and no time to waste
she ripped the meat off
in great greedy chunks
with her teeth
social distancing had left her hungry
she was so thankful he had agreed to meet