Tag Archives: exile

WINTERING

Originally posted in 2013. Poem with Audio 🙂

Wordifull

Wintering this body.

I wear my seperateness

like a shield from fantasy

and the fear of cold.

I know by now

one santa claus

who comes with a strange,

black gift for each of us.

I know love is real

but a fugitive from law.

That freedom’s breath is raw

and the world we think round

is shapeless after all.

~ Melanie Blackwell

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Failure

his sense of failure

is palpable

seeping from his pores

like booze

the morning after

a hard drunk

it permeates

his being

choking any chance

at happiness

real or imagined

~Melanie Thomason

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Micropoetry

The fabulous Bianca was kind enough to add artwork to some of my micropoetry.  I hope you enjoy her creations and my words.

 

melanie_blackwell_micropoetry_collage_abuse micropoetry_by_melanie_blackwell_Lot'sWife micropoetry_by_melanie_blackwell-Change

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Cell Memory

there-

do you see it?

look!

look harder

you gotta kinda squint your eyes

and let go

let the focus slide a little off

and look with your soul

with the wide red eyes of your heart

now

LOOK

do you see?

do you SEE?

i dreamt of you and that is the scary part

it’s not just that you’re you and you’re beautiful

it’s that you are so aptly suited to me

like i couldn’t have built you better

sometimes, oh, sometimes i think i am so STUPID —

so stupid to let myself get into this mess

but i’ve been living it for so long i don’t know what else to do or how else to be

sometimes,  oh sometimes,  i wonder

yes, it is to You, but i won’t let you read this

because it doesn’t mean anything

and you don’t need to know

it’s all been to someone

all of it

it’s always been aimed somewhere

just happens to be you — this time

which is to say —

it’s the most real thing in the world

but in the end

it is less about you

and more about me

because when you’re gone

i will still have my words

me and my Words

a match made somewhere on the rim of hell

oh, and i don’t even know what i’m blathering about anymore

it’s all gotten lost in the translation from thought to tongue to paper

it is all lost

and i’m

lost

LOST

if I keep this up I’m gonna say something I can’t take back

going to confess some terrible rhyme

one of these days you’ll take your hair down and it will kill me

i don’t know how to explain but i have this THING for hair

for long dark hair on long white men

it’s something older than time and a memory in my cells

some THING that makes my soul ache

i am ample distraction

if i sit here long enough

maybe i’ll sprout roots

maybe i’ll grow on you

(sounds like a threat to me — better run!)

(come undone)

(better do it, now –or else)

when you opened the door did you expect to find me?

do you know what you are looking at?

do you know me and will you hear my name?

i don’t ask or offer because i don’t want to be turned down

even gracious objection is wounding enough on its own

without the killing pain of outright refusal

but — you KNOW, now you know, i told you and you still talk to me like i’m a human being —

that is something

something i wouldn’t have had the guts for a year ago

do you ever wonder at the tide of time?

do you wonder as the candy-man plinks coins off the links in my spine?

not like that, not like it was but as it will be

future imperfect, the residual of years of languages —

wild

feral

bestial

Queen

oh the things

you might have been

i couldn’t let it be a secret, not this time, you’re too you for me to have suffered in silence

where is this going?

is it at an end —

oh gods

i don’t know

how to end

i never have

that’s my curse

and gift i guess

this mobius strip of endless dithering

i think i must

stop

now

or else

it’s time

now

for my date

with

Death

~Melanie Blackwell

*an old journal entry unearthed

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no flowers

stock-footage-hand-laying-flowers-on-a-grave

bring no flowers 

to my grave

waste no tears

if you couldn’t be bothered

to do either

when I was here

~Melanie Blackwell

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Voice

***I am dedicating this post to a dear friend of mine who I will refer to as S. K. (you know who you are).  You sent me an email and your closing line “With power and might to your pen and all your creations” was a much needed boost.  Love you 🙂

Scars-speak-more-loudly-than-the-sword-that-caused-them.Paulo-Coelho-quote

I

was born

into a family

where cruelty was norm

I wouldn’t have picked them

but I didn’t have a choice

I never did fit in at all

and I am glad that I did not

I suffered at their hands abuse of every form

 True evil lived in their eyes and in their hearts

I had to get away from them to find my voice

I fight now for the voiceless with my keyboard and my pen

~Melanie Blackwell

**Don’t remember the name of this form but it is ascending by one word each line…one to twelve.

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WINTERING

I’m reblogging one of my first posts.  AND I’m adding an audio clip.  This is my first attempt at recording and I must admit it is kinda scary…so I started with a brief one 🙂 I’d love some feedback!

Wintering this body.

I wear my seperateness like a shield from fantasy and the fear of cold.

Read the rest at WINTERING.

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Blanket of Night

From Wallpaper777.com

From Wallpaper777.com

Staggering through the painful night

mile after weary mile

passing people in the dark

receiving nary a smile

All these things trapped inside my head

should they be expressed or left unsaid?

I stumble onward til everyone is out of sight

looking for answers but the black shroud permits no light

I yell, I scream, I cry, I shake

but still don’t know which decision to make

Here I stand longing for resolution

all I get is mind pollution

~Melanie   Blackwell

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