Tag Archives: abuse

let my soul shine

dirty, dark urges

stole all of my firsts

I was too little,

too young

to fight

how could I

let my soul shine

bruised and bleeding

doubting

my worth

feeling deserving

of my poor,

white

plight

how could I

let my soul shine

foul, muscled hands

muffled my cries

in the night

somehow I knew to

let my soul shine

living in darkness

that tried to

smother

all light

I had to try to

let my soul shine

i couldn’t make them love me

try

as I might

still, I had to

let my soul shine

from my family’s cage

at fourteen,

this bird

finally

took flight

to freely

let my soul shine

~Melanie Thomason

reblog from 2014

To say I felt an emotional connection with Maya Angelou’s poetry would be an understatement.  

The above poem is my meager tribute to a phenomenal woman. I leave you with a quote.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

― Maya AngelouLetter to My Daughter

2 Comments

Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, reblog

hush now

image from Pixabay

hush now

no one wants to hear

keep it to yourself

don’t air our dirty laundry

what would the neighbors think?

hush now

don’t cry

we are all big boys and girls

crying is for babies

or in the dark of night all by yourself

hush now

don’t speak

some truth might just slip out

we wouldn’t want that

now, would we?

~Melanie Thomason

Reblog from 2015

3 Comments

Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, reblog

was it her fault

Image by Concord90 from Pixabay

Did she ask for it?

was her skirt too short?

her top too tight?

too revealing?

did her eyes say yes, while she said no?

was it her fault because she had the nerve to be at that party?

or out alone?

or drinking?

Did she ask for it?

Did it make you feel like a big man?

to take what wasn’t yours?

to use fear and control and body parts as weapons?

Did she ask for it?

Did she want her life forever altered?

or was it You?

 

~Melanie Thomason

reblog see original here

 

 

 

 

12 Comments

Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, reblog

child prostitute

With that in mind I am re-blogging something I wrote in 2014.

 

Caged Butterfly from Deviant Art

Caged Butterfly from Deviant Art

innocence

lost,

stolen

and sold

a child

left sullied

and shamed

continue

the trade

’cause it is all

that they know

think it is all

they are good for..

are they really to blame?

then THEY are arrested

and charged as criminals?!

why

do we

victimize

the

victim?

why

do the headlines say

“Child Prostitute”

like it was their choice?

…insane

~Melanie Thomason

reblog from 2014

3 Comments

Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, reblog

Fair Trade

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

 

As children we are told tales of monsters

We learn to fear the unknown,

that otherness is bad

and blood is thicker than water

We’re taught that family is the most important thing

and that there is safety in numbers

But any child who has flailed helplessly to escape a brother’s grasp

or purchased sleep with rivers of tears

after enduring a thersitical mother’s ranting

or cried out under the blows from a father’s fists

knows that this is a fantasy

that being alone, that hiding

can sometimes save you

and that sometimes what is known

makes one long for distance

because what’s Out There

isn’t half as scary as home

Sometimes hanging at rope’s end

seems a fair trade for one’s turn at peace

~Melanie Thomason

3/02/2020

8 Comments

Filed under Poetry

what is love anyway?

image from pixabay

 

What’s love got to do with it? Tina Turner asks…

Good question. 

“I’m not a smart man but I know what love is.” says Forest Gump.

Well I don’t. 

What is love?  It has a different definition for each of us…if it exists at all.

I don’t know what love is.

BUT I know what it isn’t.

Love is not about power.

Love is not control.

Love is not abuse.

Belittling someone is not love.

Controlling someone is not love.

Beating someone is not love.

If my father loved me he wouldn’t have abused me- verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually.

If my brother, cousins, uncle loved me they wouldn’t have touched me in that way.

If my grandparents loved me they would have taken me out of the situation or done something to help.

If my mother loved me she wouldn’t have made me feel less than.  She wouldn’t have encouraged my brother’s abuses.  She wouldn’t have been jealous of my father’s attention.

I could go on and on there are many more examples…but let’s fast forward to adult relationships.

Just a couple examples:

 If “D” loved me he wouldn’t have chipped away at what little self-esteem I had. He wouldn’t have asked me why I deprived him from being with “hot” girls. He wouldn’t have literally spat in my face.

If “N” loved me he wouldn’t have told me how wonderful I was, how fun and creative and passionate I was but then break up with me cause it was time he settled down and he “didn’t want his kids to have a fat mom.”

You know what else love isn’t?

Love is not losing yourself in someone else.

It is not about sacrifice.  It is all well and good to do things for the ones you love AND you shouldn’t have to do so at the expense of yourself.

Love should not be based on fear.

Love should not hurt.

 

~Melanie Thomason

02/21/2020

11 Comments

Filed under Random Brain Babble

Thank goodness they had gone.

 

 

Thank goodness they had gone.  She had never wanted them here in the first place.  She certainly didn’t invite them as she had never wanted to see them again for the rest of her life.  How had her parents even found her? She had left them behind years ago and thought she had left no trace for them to follow.

Gretchen picked up the tattered pieces of herself that their surprise visit had ripped from her with gnarled claws and gnashing teeth.  It had taken years to build herself up after an entire childhood of their abuses.  She thought she was past that part of her life and could no longer be hurt by them.  But it seems her self-esteem is still tenuous at best. She would heal, she promised herself, after all she had come so far and they didn’t own her anymore.

And, they were gone.  Gretchen heaved a sigh of relief and took a deep calming breath to center herself.  She could swear she could still smell them; that somehow evil had a stench and it had somehow lingered.  She might think about moving again later, but for now she set about cleaning…cleaning her apartment and herself to be rid of them again.  Gretchen turned the music up loud to drown out their voices in her head that she thought had been banished.  She cleaned and she sang and as the music filled her she started to feel better.

~Melanie Thomason

02/08/2020

5 Comments

Filed under Stories

Before her first kiss…

image from Pixabay

 

Before her first training bra

she wasn’t even beginning to need one…

Before her first period

she had only heard of Aunt Flo…

Before her first crush

she wasn’t even interested in boys…

Before her first boyfriend

Before her first kiss…

He shattered her childhood

and took away her innocence

Does that make her sullied?

Does that make her less?

Does that count as losing her virginity?

~Melanie Thomason

2/20/2020

2 Comments

Filed under Poetry