if good is white
and black is bad
what color is malevolence?
what color ambiguance?
if good is white
and black is bad
what color is malevolence?
what color ambiguance?
Blow your nose
Just wanted to say I am having internet issues and apparently WP issues as well. I have been trying to visit, like, comment for days and i am only successful 1 out of a dozen attempts. Bear with me and know I’m not ignoring you all. I’ve also been having trouble posting stuff (which is why I posted 4 poems today when i had a chance since i was unable to the last 3 days.)
Ahh the little frustrations 😉 Stay safe and healthy!
So a few times lately I’ve seen comments and posts about the validity of all the different Awareness of this and Prevention of that days, weeks or months…
… is it needed? Does it matter? Is it only preaching to the choir to post these things here? Does it make a difference?
I will answer to all of the above: YES and NO!
April, as I’ve already posted about a few times now, is Child Abuse Prevention Month AND Sexual Assault Awareness Month. It is sad that these issues need months set aside to talk about them but I’m glad for whatever light can be shone. I personally think these are issues that we should talk about all the time…until they no longer exist. Violence against women and children haven’t gone anywhere. Ageism, Sexism, and all the other isms haven’t gone anywhere. So yes we still need to talk about them.
Truthfully, talk alone isn’t enough. Each of us needs to take action as well.
I shouldn’t have to tell anyone that they shouldn’t hurt other people, right? No child should ever be abused, right? Yet, look around.
Women and children are beaten everyday. Yes, men are abused as well and that is not ok either. It is just that the majority of the time abuse is directed at women and children, STILL, and that pisses me off. It should piss you off too!
Rape is not a thing of the past. It also often isn’t a stranger but someone the victim know and should be able to trust. We shouldn’t have to tell anyone that No does not mean yes…that consent is ABSOLUTELY necessary. That victim blaming is not acceptable and it doesn’t matter what someone is wearing!
It goes beyond that of course… not only should you not hurt people (yourself or others) or participate with those who do, you also shouldn’t be a silent bystander.
If you cannot get personally involved (and sometimes you shouldn’t)…at the very least say something to those who can.
IF, you know someone who is being abused, speak up.
Remember, the smallest action on your part could make a life and death difference.
IF, you know someone who is an abuser, speak up.
One of the ways we can make a difference is by not accepting this behavior. We have to let the perpetrators know this is not ok.
When friends and family turn a blind eye this makes both the abuser and the abused feel that what is happening is acceptable. Break the cycle. Educate yourself and please educate your children.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” -Edmund Burke
What’s love got to do with it? Tina Turner asks…
“I’m not a smart man but I know what love is.” says Forest Gump.
Well I don’t.
What is love? It has a different definition for each of us…if it exists at all.
I don’t know what love is.
BUT I know what it isn’t.
Love is not about power.
Love is not control.
Love is not abuse.
Belittling someone is not love.
Controlling someone is not love.
Beating someone is not love.
If my father loved me he wouldn’t have abused me- verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually.
If my brother, cousins, uncle loved me they wouldn’t have touched me in that way.
If my grandparents loved me they would have taken me out of the situation or done something to help.
If my mother loved me she wouldn’t have made me feel less than. She wouldn’t have encouraged my brother’s abuses. She wouldn’t have been jealous of my father’s attention.
I could go on and on there are many more examples…but let’s fast forward to adult relationships.
Just a couple examples:
If “D” loved me he wouldn’t have chipped away at what little self-esteem I had. He wouldn’t have asked me why I deprived him from being with “hot” girls. He wouldn’t have literally spat in my face.
If “N” loved me he wouldn’t have told me how wonderful I was, how fun and creative and passionate I was but then break up with me cause it was time he settled down and he “didn’t want his kids to have a fat mom.”
You know what else love isn’t?
Love is not losing yourself in someone else.
It is not about sacrifice. It is all well and good to do things for the ones you love AND you shouldn’t have to do so at the expense of yourself.
Love should not be based on fear.
Love should not hurt.
Just kidding, I made that up…though it could be there seems to be a holiday for everything!
AND they do get a bad rap…I for one am a fan. MMM roasted brussels sprouts are simple and delicious 😉
By the way did you know Brussels sprouts is correct spelling with the s at the end? I didn’t…guess cause we SAY brussel sprouts….
Victim 1: Thomas
“I’m here to report an assault.”
“Ok, sir, tell me what happened.”
“Well I was at O’Malley’s Pub and John hauled off and punched me in the nose, he nearly broke it.”
“So this, John person, was a complete stranger to you?”
“Well no, officer, I knew him.”
“Oh, I see and how well did you know him? Would you say you two were friends before this incident?”
“I guess you could say we were friends, at least I thought we were before he hit me.”
“Okay…and how is it that you came to see John this particular evening?”
“Well we decided to go out and have a couple drinks and watch the game on the big screen, just like we did from time to time.”
“So, Thomas by your own account, you willingly went out with John to the pub and this was an ongoing relationship. Right?”
“AND you were drinking alcohol.”
“So then you would have to agree you were a willing participant in the events. You have to take responsibility for your actions you know.”
Victim 2: Richard
“Excuse me officer, I need to report a robbery.”
“I’ll be happy to assist you. Tell me what happened.”
“I went to an ATM and this guy came up behind me and threatened to hurt me if I didn’t give him my money.”
“And did you?”
“Did you give him your money?”
“Well yes, I did because I was afraid.”
“So you didn’t resist? You didn’t fight back?”
“No, like I said I was afraid of what he might do so I just complied.”
“And when was this?”
“Late last night…well I guess you could say early this morning.”
“Well which is it?”
“It was around 2am.”
“What were you doing out at that time of night?”
Victim 3: Harrison
“I need some help officer, I was just sexually assaulted by a group of sorority sisters.”
“Hahaha, good one. What can I help you with?”
“No seriously, I was assaulted.” “Look, I took a picture of them with my cell phone.”
“You should be so lucky; I mean those girls could do much better than the likes of you. Have you looked in the mirror?”
“Officer, I was violated and I want to file a complaint. Can you please take this seriously?”
“Ok, ok, sir, simmer down. (muttering under his breath ‘geez must be his time of the month’) So you are saying this just happened?”
“And, this is what you were wearing?!”
Do you fine these scenarios ridiculous? You should…they would never happen this way…
Do you find them infuriating? Callous? Alarming? Insulting?
Well you should, because ALL of these scenarios would play out this badly or worse if the Victims were Females who had be harassed, assaulted, beaten or raped.These are the exact kind of victim blaming questions that women have to deal with.
I write about Desire. Sex. Longing. Pain. Darkness. All of it.
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