You remember too much…
Why hold onto all that?
And I said,
where can I put it down?
It is a heavy load
that doesn’t seem to lighten over time
Though I’ve tried burning it, burying it,
and boxing it away
how do I tell you how I got here without getting trapped in the past?
I am alive only by accident
I’ve tried and failed to end the anguish
to end me
more than once
Failure has been a constant companion
in this land of sadness and shadow
I find myself again,
I am no shadow.
Though there is a shadow
starting at my feet.
I’ve stitched it on
like Wendy did for Peter
under the seams runs the pain
Stolen Lines honoring these fabulous poets:
–Richard Siken “How do I tell you how I got here without getting trapped in the past?”
–Anne Carson “You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said, Where can I put it down?” And “Under the seams runs the pain.”
–Sylvia Plath “After all I am alive only by accident.” And “I find myself again. I am no shadow Though there is a shadow starting from my feet.”